Lindsay’s Scribblings

There is an empty chair between us
Not quite so empty, after all
There is an empty chair –
A barrier
An empty chair that should be there,
However much I hate it.

This is right.
Irrevocably, inescapably, inevitably.
Exactly how it’s supposed to be
Without the perfection.
This is is right.
Exactly how it’s supposed to be
Give or take a few major excerpts.
This is right.
Exactly how it’s supposed to be
Except
Not quite.

I don’t think about it
I don’t talk about it
But it’s there
The unspoken fact
A fluorescent paean
Humming unobtrusively
Beneath my conversation
It’s there
But it’s manageable.

My steering wheel alone
Knows what I am dying to shout
The whisper I settle for
At least someone has said it
At least its true
At least I know
You and I and my steering wheel
The only confidant
Sure to keep my confidence
In this tangle of mutual friends.

Anxiety is worthless
I always know what you really mean
I am just too easily inundated
With the polite imperative of
Implausible alternatives
To accept the subtle

Where did we meet?
It was on the playground, wasn’t it?
In the midst of cobbled and terse
Attempts to achieve make-believe
Dungeons and Dragons glory.
Where did we meet?
It was after English class, wasn’t it?
As everyone else gossiped
About enigmatic relationships
And kisses and marijuana.
In World Geography
The first day of freshman year
While I drew aimless patterns
On the hand you wanted to hold.