Go Die
Go die.
Go die in a hole somewhere
All alone.
I don’t mean that.
But I do
Wish
You would leave me alone-
Leave me alone and
Free from your company.
Go die.
No.
Don’t.
But please stop
Killing
Me.
Stormy
Bury Me
Bury me
I am replaceable
Bury me
I had no investment
Bury me
I wasn’t committed
Bury me
And then choose
Your excuse
And see if
When heard
It rings true
Replacability
I am
Your very pillars
Your very walls
Without me
You might fall
But
You might not
Your ancillary support
Isn’t primary
After all
And
Replaceability
Is becoming
On one such as myself.
Past Houses
Walking past houses
Row by tranquil row
Networked indecision
Keeping me alone
Roads are empty
My voice carries
Over the whispering leaves
And the sky worries
Harsh gray anxiety
I reveal my alto secrets
Lighter every step
Walking past houses
Alone with my regrets.
Ridiculous
Ridiculous
I believe
Was the word I used
To keep coming back
To a false
Status quo
In the vain hope
That perhaps
Over-Idealism
Might become tangible
Yes, Ridiculous
To think
That changing
Would make it any better
When I cannot
Define perfect
For a crowd.
Jacket
This jacket
Is more of a blanket
Than a coat
Oversized and familiar
And I’ve missed it
This jacket
Is a peace token
Genuine warmth
Overwhelming
What remained of
Frigidity.
Would Have
I would have-
I would have.
I would have
Acted on those words you finally said.
But you
Wouldn’t have.
Or couldn’t have
Or at the least
Didn’t.
I would have,
But you didn’t.
And the words
Were just a little
Too late.
How
I was wondering how
You could treat me that way
After all that came before
But my own actions
For the same reasons
Would have given you cause enough
The bitter
Back and forth exchanges
Did nothing for us
And I was hurting because of you
And you were hurting because you hurt me
And I was glad to make you feel it
So you snapped
And I snapped
And it was as though
There never had been
A friendship
Or a relationship
Or a life
I was wondering how
You could treat me that way
But it’s as much my fault
As yours.
Compelled
Watching the beautiful catastrophe
Compelled to stare and not look away
My life, fading before me in every dirty drop
Down from my shingles, over the gutters
Down onto my sidewalk, in front of my porch
And on the other side of the cold clear sheet
I watch the world change
And everyone around me continues their busy little lives
Unaware of the havoc wreaked in mine
Everyone around me delights in the weather
As do I, whose mood summoned the storm
But everyone else can blame someone else
And live clean in faultless security
But I am compelled to watch
To stare and not look away
While my life fades