Like Them

I force myself to be scrupulously kind,
When others mock me.
I force myself to laugh,
When They call me names.
I tell myself to be fair,
When others hurt me.
I watch with envy,
When They break the rules.
I think before acting,
While They dive in.
I wonder if perhaps,
Life might be easier,
If I was like Them.
When I’m staring at
My finish line,
I wonder if I could just act,
And not consider feelings,
Or consequences.
Would I then be happy,
As They say They are?
Or would I have lost
The only thing that makes humanity decent?
Would I have become
A mere robotic shade
Like Them?